Soonish?

In no particular order:

  • The job I turned down today.  The one that was sort of in the boonies.  Okay, really in the boonies.  It was a promotion, but that was about all it offered.
  • The way that I’m getting a reputation as a really good cook, but it’s pretty much a sham.  Basically, I’m a really good recipe-picker and I can, you know, follow instructions and occasionally I’m willing to take a chance and put my own spin on the recipe, the first time even, just to see what will happen. 
  • The fact that it is December 20, which means, like, 4 shopping days till Christmas Eve and I?  HAVEN’T STARTED SHOPPING.  I was waiting for my paycheck, you see, and I know what I want to get everyone so that is a start, no?
  • The two hours yesterday afternoon that my heart was in my throat — it started with my new girly doctor telling me I had lumpy breasts during my annual exam and hmmm, there was one lump and she didn’t think it was anything but maybe I should get it checked out and yeah, she thought I should do it before I left town for two months “just in case,” because that’s not something you just want to wait on.  This was followed by the imaging center saying they could fit me in if I was there in half an hour and me undergoing an ultrasound while trying not to panic and I think I really only stopped WRITING MY WILL IN MY HEAD when the radiologist told me it was nothing, NOTHING to worry about at all, thank god.   And then I swore to myself that I would do the monthly checks just like I told the doctor I do, when I don’t really at all. 
  • Watching my baby brother sing “Ave Maria” last night at choir practice all by himself and I could barely look at him because it would make me cry.  Who is this kid?  Wasn’t it just, like, a year ago he was born 6 weeks early, weighing 3 lbs., 4 oz., and then he was a precocious 5 year-old who walked around on his tiptoes all the time and believed any white lie I told him??  And now he’s 19 and a sophomore in college?  Like, when did that happen? 
  • And finally, what about the fact that I volunteered to sit for Best Friend T’s kidlets tonight so she and her hubby could go shopping, despite the fact that she and the kids and the hub have all been sick with the PLAGUE for more than a week and really, her house should be under quarantine and no perfectly healthy person (like myself) should be admitted?  But yet, babysit I will and will probably willingly give them kisses and nibble on their delicious little faces and wipe noses and get myself thoroughly covered in little kid germs and end up sick as a dog just in time for the holidays and I will have no one to blame but myself.  It’s just that they’re so darn cute and I have to get my time in with them now before I go away for two months and POOF when I return, they’ll probably be 19 years old too.  And in my experience, no self-respecting 19-year-old will let you nibble their cheeks.